the year of living biblically
ok, i just need to start with the disclaimer that i mean no disrespect to anyone who is religious, devout or not. please, do not leave me comments about such. that is not my intent.
so, i can’t remember the last time i read a book for pleasure. my job takes up so much time. and then what free time i do have i use in an effort to be a good partner and pet owner, as well as a good friend. but this weekend, as we have an extra day “off,” i decided i was going to spend it reading for fun. so, i finally finished reading animal farm, which i borrowed from a friend forever ago, and have been on page 84 for almost as long. once i turned the last page, i picked up the other book i had borrowed from this same friend. the title – the year of living biblically: one man’s humble quest to follow the bible as literally as possible.
i figure, as a not so devout (or even practicing) catholic, i’m probably in for some laughs. i also figured i’d learn some interesting things about the bible, without having to read it word for word myself. (which i plan on doing someday. that day just isn’t today.)
part of the reason i have some issues with the bible is that it was written so long ago that it is hard to make it apply to things we do today. i also love shellfish, and refuse to give it up just because the bible tells me to. some aspects just seem so backwards to me. even so, i can accept the logical reasons behind them. for example, jews being kosher in what they eat – not eating bacon and shrimp, the bottom feeders, which are unclean. gotcha. (too bad it is so damn tasty.)
the thing i didn’t know: “you are not to boil a young goat in the milk of its mother – exodus 23:19″ when taken literally, it leads to scratching of the head and uttering, “huh?” rabbis interpret this to mean that meat and dairy cannot touch. apparently jews can’t each cheeseburgers… um, what? i bring this up to liz, who is on the couch reading for one of her classes. she says she knew this, given the many conversations she had with her jewish friend from the army. this friend, though she has never had bacon, loves the smell…and the bible says nothing about smelling it.
this book i’m reading does not give the rationale behind the whole meat and dairy touching faux pas , so i’m a bit confused. especially when it goes on to explain that there are rules about how long you have to wait to eat (or drink) dairy after eating meat – one to six hours depending on the local tradition. some of the more strict traditions also call for you to wash your dairy utensils separate from the meat utensils in the dishwasher.
ok, now, i thought catholics were a bit crazy. (and again, i mean no disrespect. just that some of the traditions associated with the religion just are a bit far out there for me.) but you can’t even put cheese on your burger?? why eat the thing? you can’t even wash it down with a nice ice-cold glass of milk! (as I’m vegetarian – or at least a close cousin – i wonder if they can eat burgers with soy cheese…)
as if the above didn’t confuse me enough, i come upon this passage: “The strictest Sabbath keepers today are probably the Orthodox Jews. In postbiblical times, the rabbis wrote down a complete list of forbidden behavior. It’s got thirty-nine types of work, including cooking, combing, and washing. You can’t plant, so gardening is off-limits. You can’t tear anything, so toilet paper must be pre-ripped earlier in the week. You can’t make words, so Scrabble is often considered off-limites (though at least one rabbi allows Deluxe Scrabble, since the squares have ridges, which provides enough separation between letters so that they don’t actually form words).”
i get that you are supposed to live in God’s image, and even he rested on the seventh day…but do you really believe that God pre-ripped his toilet paper in preparation for sunday? or perhaps threw a party and invited some of his closest word loving friends for a rousing game of scrabble? and again, i mean no disrespect – i am legitimately asking – what is the logic/rationale behind these rules? because i just don’t see it.
one bit from the bible that i can totally get down with: ”Give strong drink to him who is perishing, and wine to those in bitter distress – Proverbs 31:6.”
again, i mean no disrespect to any religion. but i’ve always been the kid that asks “why” after everything. which is perhaps why i didn’t so well with organized religion, because you’re not supposed to ask why. you are just supposed to take it on faith that that is what god wants.
